Memories Pop Up

Tears

The photos that suddenly appear on my phone surprise me.  I’m happy to see them at times, and then in other instances, they make me tearful. Like the one I saw today. The picture is too sad to post, but it was taken on this date, two years ago, July 22, 2024. Two years ago today.

The facility called us to say our daughter, Shelley, was transitioning. They couldn’t say when the final goodbye would come, but they thought it would be a few hours or days. I remember standing in the kitchen as my husband and I cried on each other’s shoulders.

 Family went immediately to see her.

She rallied and stayed with us until October, 26, 2024.  

Since her homegoing to heaven, I suffer from the loss. Not only do I miss her, but I’m a woman without purpose. I spent the past ten years caring for her. I woke up thinking about what I needed to do for her, and then I went to bed thinking about what I needed to do the following day.

In years past, I wrote Christian novels, and many of them are still available on Internet sites. Gay's Books But while she was ill, and since she left, I’m in a writer’s slump. If I were inspired to begin a new book, I might acquire a dedication again, but right now, I’m floundering. I need a new role.

Movie

A few people throw themselves into fun activities like going to movies, bowling, or reading after their responsibilities ends. All these interests are fun and cause stress to flee our bodies, however, should having fun and freedom be our objective in life? Or should we find something that makes us valuable and needed again?

As I search for usefulness, I thought of this blog and decided to write on the subject. Perhaps I can help another caregiver who faces the same problem. When a loved one leaves, it takes time to rediscover ourselves.

Caregivers spend hours thinking and planning. We devote most of our time and money to helping a loved one, and for the most part, we are happy with the privilege of assisting the family member we adore.

But when we are released from that responsibility, we can feel lost. What to do? I don’t want a similar task. Ten years was enough.

I love teaching Scripture. God gave me the gift to do this, and it gives me a sense of purpose, but I’m limited even there. People aren’t knocking down my door begging me to teach Bible to them.

If you are a caregiver whose job is finished, how are you filling the gap?

 Tips for Caregivers

1. The time will come when you might feel you lost your purpose in life.

2. Look for ways to fill the gap.

3. Realize that for most of us, this feeling is normal.