Aging Backwards

 

Babies are beautiful. Aren't they? All parents and extended family feel the rush of love when a newborn comes into the family.

Babies depend upon us for food, clothing, and shelter. They are helpless and innocent and totally incapable of providing for themselves. As they grow, among the first of things they learn is how to eat. We hand them a cracker or place Cheerios on their tray. They are happy when their little fingers grow dexterous and they can pick up such food items. These small bites go into their mouths, and soon, even non-foods go to the mouth.

They learn to sit up, crawl, and then toddle as they walk.  With each new achievement, they grow a bit more independent.

Folks with Dementia or Alzheimer's age backwards. They lose independence a little at a time. When we compare their progress on a day-to-day basis, not much can be seen as a change, but when we looks back over six months, we sees a major transformation.

They reach a stage where they are babies again. They can't sit up, walk, or feed themselves, nor can they use the toilet. Like a newborn, they wear diapers, and someone changes the adult baby pants for them. They regress to the infant stage.

Like an infant, our daughter must be fed, and mobility is an issue.

She fell last Saturday, May 14, 2022. Her walk has become a slow shuffle. She stumbled and fell face down.

The facility called late the following Monday night. The EMS had been called, and our little one was being rushed to the ER. An  earlier X-ray showed a small nose fracture, and the doctor wanted a CT scan.

The X-ray should have been done sooner. It appears the nurse forgot to turn in the request to the doctor on the Saturday of the incident. When I didn't hear from her that evening, or the next day on Sunday, I assumed the X-ray showed no damage. It's difficult to get through by phone on the weekends, so I didn't call. I learned a valuable lesson. Don't trust the nurses or aides, get individual phone numbers for personnel in case no one answers the phone at the facility. Facilities aren't always on top of things, and even when I stay on them, they mess up.

We were in the hospital for three days. The medical teams, with my help, discovered she couldn't answer their questions. She doesn't know her birthdate, and she didn't know where she was. Most of the time, when asked her name, she responded with her first name.

Several medics commented on her skin and how young she looks.

She had a few wrinkles once, but they seemed to have disappeared.

She's aging backwards.

By-the-way, the beautiful baby pictured at the top of this blog is her new grandbaby. She doesn't know the new tiny goodness. 

They are both sweet babies.

Calendar: Do People Participate?

I picked up the May calendar from Shelley's facility, excuse me, community. They prefer the place called community.

The management team prints a monthly newsletter with a calendar. If Shelley's community actually did all these activities, it would be nice, but they don't, and I don't see how any community could do them all. They have something scheduled almost every 30 minutes.

Some of the residents can participate in most of these activities, but many are like my daughter, and they are passed the point of these fun moments.

I've been present at 9:00 and I've seen a lady reading to the residents from the newspaper. Most nodded off during the reading. 

The workout at 9:30 is interesting. A recording comes on and people are supposed to "workout."

I wonder who plays the game at 2:00 entitled, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

Table Games at 5:30?  I don't think so. Most of the residents are eating at that time.

My point is this: It looks good on paper, and any perspective family would look at the calendar and say, "Wow, this place will be great for mom/dad."

I tell people to show up unexpectedly at these scheduled events to see what really takes place.

Do the aides take the residents to the activities, or do the residents even know the activities are taking place?

In Shelley's case, she doesn't know about the activities, but if I take her, or someone else does so, she is apt to sleep, or if possible, get up and wander off.

Activities are a boon to people who need memory care, especially music.  I wish the community scheduled a daily music time. Music soothes their agitation.

Sometimes they have pet therapy.  A volunteer brings her dog to visit. Most love this activity. Hooray for volunteers!

Many family members work during the day and can't pop into the community unexpectedly, and some communities require appointments. I'm blessed to have time to go at odd times during the week, and when I do, I observe what is going on with others. 

These facilities (communities) need to know someone is checking on residents.  

If a resident is injured, the community is required to call the resident's family. I once received a phone call that Shelley had fallen from her bed and had hurt her lip. I went to see about her, and then went to the director to ask for details, but the director knew nothing about it. Her staff had not mentioned the incident.

A director can't fix something broken if she doesn't know it's broken, and communication had broken down. I am certain the director made sure she knew about any future injuries.

I try to be nice and diplomatic, but those of us who have residents in communities have responsibilities to loved ones.

It is okay to execute due diligence. Investigate before you sign your loved one into a facility, and after they are there, keep the diligence up. Their safety depends upon you.