Friday, March 15, 2024

Featured in The Top 80 Dementia Blogs

 



I am surprised and grateful. My blog, this very one, "I'll Always Remember" has been selected as one of the top Dementia/Alzheimer's blogs featured on the Internet.

WOW!  WOW! WOW!

Anuj Agarwal, the Founder of Feedspot, said: “I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world. This is the most comprehensive list of Top 80 Dementia Blogs on the internet and I'm honored to have you as part of this!

I know many caregivers, and we all are looking for simple solutions to a few of our caregiving needs.  Now, we can find answers and inspiration for the tasks ahead in this extensive catalog from Feedspot.

You might be surprised at what people ask...such things as this: "What did you do to keep him from driving?"  Answers came like, "Hide the keys."  Or how about this one, "Unplug wires and tell him the car won't start." Sometimes we want to know if a certain medication works with their loved one.  Or we ask if yelling is normal. When did your loved one forget how to read?

We needed a comprehensive catalog, and this is it! Feedspot!  Click on the link at the bottom of this post and become a follower. I'm excited. This is my go-to place.

I started this blog several years ago with the idea of helping others on this dismal journey.  Ours is a bit unusual. We take care of our daughter. Most daughters take care of their parents.  It is backward and confusing. 


Gay and Shelley, 2017
She lived in an assisted living at that time.
After the adjustment, she loved the place.

It is difficult to write about Shelley. The illness robs her of mind and body. I keep in mind her dignity and try not to sound morose. If she could understand, she'd be happy to know she is helping someone.

At the end of each post, I share helpful hints for other caregivers. We learn from each other.

Helpful Hints.

1. Put the 80 Best Dementia Blogs on speed dial.
2. Keep checking the facility. We discovered the outlets in her room didn't work. What if the hospice equipment needed electricity? Who knew to check on the outlets?
3. I discovered her bed had only one sheet instead of two.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

Shelley's March Birthday

 



Shelley arrived in March two days after her dad’s birthday.

At the time, we lived in a small rural Texas area in a parsonage.  A church furnished preachers with a house situated next to the church back in those days. As a young minister and wife expecting a baby, we came to serve this sweet congregation.

Along with three churches, this little community had a post office, a general store, a gasoline station, and a beauty salon.

The paved, asphalt highway in front of our house enjoyed the distinction of being the primary road to travel, but a few of our flock lived off the main thoroughfare. Jarring, gravel offshoots met paved highway, and they drove on these rocky roads.

As the date approached for Shelley’s birth, I asked people to take me over these bumpy trails. I had heard such jaunts would make a baby come faster.




God knew my idea wasn’t a good one, and He waited an extra two days to allow Shelley’s entrance. She required time to mature a bit more. Even two days failed to be enough.

She was too tiny at a full maturity date and had to stay in the NICU. The nurses later told me they didn’t think she would make it, but with God’s help, she did. I nicknamed her Tiny Tuffy. She remains a petite person.

After ten days, we brought her home from the hospital. Although not considered a preemie, she required constant care. The doctor prescribed feeding her every two hours. Shelley didn’t eat much at the time, so she’d intake a small amount and go back to sleep. That meant I fed her every hour. I woke up one night, sitting in a rocker, with the bottle’s nipple stuck to her forehead. We both had been asleep.


When a healthy baby enters the parent’s world, its mom and dad never imagine that child growing up and needing parental care again. After a few months, Shelley grew healthy and became an optimistic, fun-loving person. Even after dementia hit her, she remained positive. The attendants in the facility where she lives love her. She's kind and tries to accommodate.

She will not know her birthday this year. We’ll take cake and gifts. We will make a gala out of the day, but she will not grasp what is going on. She will understand that we are in her room because we love her and she is special.

We now have a son-in-law whose birthday is in March. These three are each two days apart in March, so we celebrate together.

 


 Paul, Dirk, and Shelley in March 2018


Gay N Lewis on Amazon

Monday, February 12, 2024

Our Little Chipmonk




Images


Today is Sunday, February 11, 2024. We visited Shelley after church. We arrived around 2:30 to find her sitting in the main room with other residents. A few napped in their chairs, and a small number stared at a television. Shelley seemed oblivious to all of it.

We wheeled Shelley to her room for privacy. In certain ways, she seemed better, at least she held her head up straight. Most of the time, her head hangs to the side.  She didn’t indicate she knew us as much as she did a few days ago. But then, that’s typical for patients with dementia.

I again noticed her cheeks. They were chunky. Uh-oh! She’s pocketing food again.

The elderly develop this problem, but Shelley isn’t elderly. She has dementia, and people suffering from Alzheimer's/dementia can develop this issue.

They forget how to chew and swallow.  Can you imagine forgetting something so ingrained into your being since childhood?

Instead of chewing and swallowing, they store the food inside their cheeks like chipmunks. This is known as Dysphagia. It is dangerous and can lead to choking or aspiration pneumonia—a type of pneumonia caused by food particles inhaled into the lungs.

I have asked the attendants to brush Shelley’s teeth, and I have a note on the bathroom mirror as a reminder. Few aides do this for the residents.

I dug the food out with her toothbrush. After several attempts, I think I got it all. It isn’t a pleasant job, but it is essential. As some of the gunk came out, I gagged. However, I’m not an aide or a trained nurse. I admire those who do these tasks. When she was a baby, I cleaned the poop, and her dad helped with the throw-up.

Afterward, I sang and spoke about familiar subjects. She listened and responded with gibberish.  At one point, I quoted her favorite Scripture. “Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything, tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers.” Phil 4:6-7. (NLT) When I finished, she spoke aloud expressions like my quote. The prattle didn’t come out right, but the intonation and the number of words were correct. Somewhere deep in her brain, she understood.

I asked her if she’d like her dad to pray for her. He stood beside her, put his arm around her, and prayed. When he finished, she had tears in her eyes! One never knows how much she comprehends.

I gulped. We talked and sang again. Then I asked, “Do you want to go back to the living room?”

She replied, “Yes.”

We wheeled her back to her place. I watched from afar as her dad hugged her goodbye. I feared I’d break down and boo-hoo big time if I went over to hug goodbye.

We left.

And then I cried.

Helpful Hint.

1. It is okay to remind staff to do their jobs.

2, Check your loved one for chubby cheeks.

My New Book


More info on pocketing food