A Sweet Memory to Cherish

Our eldest daughter, Shelley, lives with the challenge of Dementia.

 She gifted me with a blessing at our last visit. It's not our days that we remember, it is moments.  

Shelley on her birthday, March, 2016

In a moment of clarity today, Shelley clasped her hands in prayer mode. She said, "I want to tell y'all something. I really appreciate y'all taking care of me, and I love you." 

 I cried.

Shelley was diagnosed with early onset dementia in 2014.

In assisted living, 2020.  Due to Covid, window visits only.

Isolation caused her to decline more rapidly.

Shelley has always been a "Daddy's Girl."  He does the financial part, and I oversee her medical attention and needs. I visit her three or four times a week, but he can't always go.

Her dad and I are now designated caregivers.  We can go into her room. Here I am, feeding her February 2021. 

When we had to move her from assisted living in July 2020, she weighed 121. Six months later, in memory care, she weighed 86 pounds. I bring malts and goodies to put weight on her. I don't remember what we found funny, but we laughed uproariously at something.

Her dad was with me yesterday and she was having a good day.  I fed her Nutella and a strawberry Boost. She ate an oatmeal cookie all by herself. 

February 26, 2021

Shelley and her dad. She escorted us to the front entrance.

She's always loving, affectionate, and tells me she loves me repeatedly when I'm there. But yesterday, when she told her dad and me how much she appreciated us, I was blown away.

Somewhere in her brain, she understands.

She gave me a memory to cherish, and I wanted to share it.

Fast Food Orders

 

Drive through fast food places don't fill orders correctly, and it's almost funny. 

Our daughter lives in a memory care facility and loves ice cream. She's lost a lot of weight. When she was admitted in July, 2020, she weighed 121 pounds. Six months later, she weighs 86. Isolation is hard on these folks.

I'm blessed now to be a designated caregiver. I can see her a bit more easily, so I'm trying to help her regain a few pounds. For me, it's easy, but it isn't for her.

I stopped at a Sonic near her facility a few days back and ordered a caramel milkshake. She loves caramel. The attendant brought me a hamburger. I noticed that mistake easily and had it corrected. A few days later, I stopped at a Sonic near me and asked for caramel.  When I got to the facility, it was strawberry. They top the shakes with whipped cream, so I couldn't see the flavor.

I stopped at McDonald's yesterday and asked for chocolate. They gave me vanilla. I think today I'll just drive to the window and say, "surprise me."  LOL. 

My daughter asked me the other day, "Are you trying to make me fat?" 

YES! I am.  She's always been tiny, but I'm sad to see her melt away.

Can You Sing and Dance in the Rain?

 

It's easy to dance and sing when the world is right for you and all goes your way.

But what happens when the skies turn grey without warning? What do you do when life becomes weary? Streets are muddy? Each step is an effort?

That's a different story, isn't it?

Smiling, singing and dancing are tough when life isn't going well. Tears may come daily.

Gene Kelly is a long-ago movie danced and sang in the rain, but he was happy and in love.

Gene Kelly in the rain 

I've heard from friends today. One just found she has breast cancer. Another discovered heart blockage. One told me her hubby had passed away. Three are dealing with chemo. Our daughter with dementia is hallucinating and sobs more now than ever. She has enough brain sense left to know it's getting worse for her.  She said, "I want to die."

And the list goes on.

These folks are in the rain. Some are singing and dancing, but others are crying. What makes the difference? Probably a day in our life and an attitude. A positive outlook comes and goes.  It's difficult to be upbeat during dark circumstances.  That's okay.  We're all like that. One day we're up and the next, we're down.

God understands. Trust Him and ask Him for a moment-by-moment change in thoughts, hopes, and body.

A popular quote says, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's learning to dance and sing in the rain."

Linda Randal sings about the dark valley.

Linda Randle

Another quote I'm fond of says, "Don't worry about tomorrow. God is already there."

God loves you.

Believe it.