The Good and Bad Days

 

From Pixabay

Some days are hard.

Harder than others.

Good days and bad days. They come and go until for humanity, they are no more.

Matthew 11:26 says the following: “Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.” NIV.

In this verse, Jesus thanks His Father because He, the Father, is confounding the wise.

It seems odd to me that God, the Father, would want to confuse the educated, the unlearned, the misguided, the handicapped, the beautiful, the ugly, or anyone for that matter.

Well, He is God, and He can do as He pleases.

So, when the days are hard like mine today, are they for His good pleasure?

Perhaps. They could be, I guess.

Shelley didn’t recognize me today. Bummer. Not so much for her, but it is a downer for me.

Alzheimer’s/Dementia is a disease that confounds the medical profession. Why did God allow an illness to invade humanity? A sickness to make a human forget Him?

That couldn’t please Him. He wants to be loved and acknowledged.  But yet, Alzheimer’s exists. Shelley doesn’t know her own name, and she certainly can’t remember any of the names God has given to Himself.

And this pleases Him?  

I can’t imagine how observing a person’s pain brings Him pleasure.

A father will do whatever he can to help a child. Even more so our Heavenly Father.

So then, how can He be pleased when people don’t know about Him? How can He be pleased when people suffer?

I can sermonize for you. Tell you is for our advancement. I can quote Romans 8:28. Does that make me feel better?  Does it you?  It helps me on most days. But others? Not so much.

Now, to be fair, we don’t know His side of the story. He is at work beyond our years. So perhaps He is pleased because He sees the outcome we don’t see.

Nevertheless, it is my job to do what I can to relieve the suffering of those around me.

And this pleases me.

~~~~~~~

Tips for Caregivers.

1.   On the bad days, remember the good ones.

2.   Continue to sing and talk to your loved one as if he/she could respond.

3.   Vent to someone who understands your heartache.

4.   Write your feelings in a journal.

5.   Find a quiet place and cry.

6.   The days come and go. Tomorrow will be better.

Through the Years Birthday pictures

My family takes a lot of photographs, but we don't often look at them. I decided to pull a few of Shelley and our family from their hiding places and put them on this blog.

Shelley has always been a hugger, a smiler, and a happy person. 

Shelley 2 years

Shelley and Christy 3 and 2 years

Shelley at 18 years

1990s

Early 20s. Shelley expects a baby. (Courtney)

September 1999

Shelley, Christy, and Lanissa

Shelley was on her way to meet her future hubby, Don. They married in December.

Don, Courtney, Richard and Shelley

Birthday 2010

The family. Gay, Paul, Christy, Shelley, Lanissa

2013

 

2014

Shelley and her nephew, Daylon

Don, her husband, and Shelley

2015

He died a few months later.

2016

2017

2018

2018

Dressed for Halloween, not a birthday picture,

but Shelley loved dressing for a party.

2018

2019

Christy and Shelley

We celebrated her birthday at a Mexican Restaurant.

2020

During Covid

2021

A Few days after her birthday.

2021

Her birthday, March 6, 2021.

The facility made special arrangements for us to enter during COVID.

I was happy to see Shelley had gained a few pounds. In December of 2020, she 

weighed 88 pounds.

Shelley and daughter, Courtney

Another picture from 2021. Shelley was so happy to see us.

2022

She wasn't having a good day. Some days are better than others.

2023

Shelley and Christy

She was having a good day. She saw us gather items, and asked, ""Are y'all leaving?"

On days she understands, she gets sad to see us go.

2024

A few days before her birthday.

She kept wanting to hug and kiss.

When I miss a few days in a row to see her, I'm always hesitant to go inside. I park my car and then the thoughts and prayers begin.

Will I see with more decline? Will she know me at all? Are they treating her well? Seeing your child decline like this is heartbreaking. It's difficult to see anyone we love with these conditions.

A few relatives can't cope with this scenerio, and they don't visit these sweet people. It takes stamina, but God is good. I ask Him for grace before I go into the facility. He gives it.

My New Book on Amazon

Featured in The Top 80 Dementia Blogs

 

I am surprised and grateful. My blog, this very one, "I'll Always Remember" has been selected as one of the top Dementia/Alzheimer's blogs featured on the Internet.

WOW!  WOW! WOW!

Anuj Agarwal, the Founder of Feedspot, said: “I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world. This is the most comprehensive list of Top 80 Dementia Blogs on the internet and I'm honored to have you as part of this!

I know many caregivers, and we all are looking for simple solutions to a few of our caregiving needs.  Now, we can find answers and inspiration for the tasks ahead in this extensive catalog from Feedspot.

You might be surprised at what people ask...such things as this: "What did you do to keep him from driving?"  Answers came like, "Hide the keys."  Or how about this one, "Unplug wires and tell him the car won't start." Sometimes we want to know if a certain medication works with their loved one.  Or we ask if yelling is normal. When did your loved one forget how to read?

We needed a comprehensive catalog, and this is it! Feedspot!  Click on the link at the bottom of this post and become a follower. I'm excited. This is my go-to place.

I started this blog several years ago with the idea of helping others on this dismal journey.  Ours is a bit unusual. We take care of our daughter. Most daughters take care of their parents.  It is backward and confusing. 

Gay and Shelley, 2017

She lived in an assisted living at that time.

After the adjustment, she loved the place.

It is difficult to write about Shelley. The illness robs her of mind and body. I keep in mind her dignity and try not to sound morose. If she could understand, she'd be happy to know she is helping someone.

At the end of each post, I share helpful hints for other caregivers. We learn from each other.

Helpful Hints.

1. Put the 80 Best Dementia Blogs on speed dial.

2. Keep checking the facility. We discovered the outlets in her room didn't work. What if the hospice equipment needed electricity? Who knew to check on the outlets?

3. I discovered her bed had only one sheet instead of two.

80 Best Dementia Blogs