Naked Bodies

 Ablutions

We enjoy showers when we take one without help. Having someone give us a bath or shower is a different story. 

Washing a naked adult body can be a challenge for family caregivers.

While her father could still somewhat understand, one daughter told me, “I had my dad sit on a chair in the tub, and I would wash his hair and body. When that was done, I’d then hand the washcloth to him. I’d say, “Now you wash your private parts.” When finished, she managed to get him out, dry him off, and dress him.

A husband I know bathes his wife. They are married, so touching intimate parts are not new. But how about a stinky diaper? Yes, the husband changes it, and it is especially dramatic when the diaper is a dirty, nasty one.

Another man lifts his daughter from place to place, but when her body is intimately revealed, he leaves his wife by herself to take care of the job of changing diapers and bathing.

How about a mother changing an adult daughter’s diaper? Or a daughter changing diapers and clothes for a mother or father?

When babies need a fresh diaper, we think nothing of it. But how about when an adult needs one? Well….

Difficult stuff.

Everyone deserves the gift of dignity and privacy, but people with Alzheimer's lose that gift. Privacy is no more.

This disease is a progressive one. In the early stages, the person may get angry because they need help. Later, they might become embarrassed, but eventually, they grow obtuse. In other words, they don’t know what is happening.

But the one providing the care recognizes the situation. They see a deteriorating naked body and smell the foul secretions.  This must be difficult for a nurse or an aid in a facility, but it is far worse for a family member.

A nurse told me once, we grow accustomed to seeing the body in all stages and functions. Vomit, blood, urine, feces…it’s all part of being human.

Yeah, well, halleluiah for medical people who devote themselves to helping the rest of us.

I was in the hospital last July, and I don’t have dementia. Praise God for that, and I hope I never do. However, I was reminded how a person can experience the indignity of someone else hovering over their naked body doing things to it. I felt awkward, embarrassed, and ashamed.

Our dementia/Alzheimer patients can still undergo the same emotions I had.

And it is a sad state of living.

Tips for Caregivers

1.    Assure the person you aren’t looking at their private parts.

2.    Talk about the weather, the baseball game, sing a song. Distract the person from what you are doing.

3.    Be gentle.

4.    Do the job as quickly as possible.

Treat the person with respect.