Ablutions
We enjoy showers when we take one without help. Having someone give us a bath or shower is a different story.
Washing a naked adult body can be a challenge for family caregivers.
While her father could still somewhat understand, one
daughter told me, “I had my dad sit on a chair in the tub, and I would wash his
hair and body. When that was done, I’d then hand the washcloth to him. I’d say,
“Now you wash your private parts.” When finished, she managed to get him out,
dry him off, and dress him.
A husband I know bathes his wife. They are married, so
touching intimate parts are not new. But how about a stinky diaper? Yes, the
husband changes it, and it is especially dramatic when the diaper is a dirty, nasty
one.
Another man lifts his daughter from place to place,
but when her body is intimately revealed, he leaves his wife by herself to take
care of the job of changing diapers and bathing.
How about a mother changing an adult daughter’s
diaper? Or a daughter changing diapers and clothes for a mother or father?
When babies need a fresh diaper, we think nothing of
it. But how about when an adult needs one? Well….
Difficult stuff.
Everyone deserves the gift of dignity and privacy, but
people with Alzheimer's lose that gift. Privacy is no more.
This disease is a progressive one. In the early
stages, the person may get angry because they need help. Later, they might
become embarrassed, but eventually, they grow obtuse. In other words, they
don’t know what is happening.
But the one providing the care recognizes the
situation. They see a deteriorating naked body and smell the foul
secretions. This must be difficult for a
nurse or an aid in a facility, but it is far worse for a family member.
A nurse told me once, we grow accustomed to seeing the
body in all stages and functions. Vomit, blood, urine, feces…it’s all part of
being human.
Yeah, well, halleluiah for medical people who devote
themselves to helping the rest of us.
I was in the hospital last July, and I don’t have
dementia. Praise God for that, and I hope I never do. However, I was reminded
how a person can experience the indignity of someone else hovering over their
naked body doing things to it. I felt awkward, embarrassed, and ashamed.
Our dementia/Alzheimer patients can still undergo the
same emotions I had.
And it is a sad state of living.
Tips for Caregivers
1. Assure
the person you aren’t looking at their private parts.
2. Talk
about the weather, the baseball game, sing a song. Distract the person from
what you are doing.
3. Be
gentle.
4. Do
the job as quickly as possible.