The First Holidays without Them

 

The First Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays are the hardest when our loved one has gone before us.

As time goes on, counting weeks and holidays cease to be foremost in our minds.

I spoke to a lady this week whose daughter suddenly passed away forty years ago. She said, “Even after this many years, something hits me unexpectedly, and I grieve again. Don’t be surprised when this happens to you. It is normal.”

Without warning, her daughter left this Earth. I had ten years of knowing mine was leaving. Which is worse? I can’t say. Both are equally hard. I grieved a lot in advance. This lady grieved a lot after the incident.

Grief can be caused by different events. Divorce. Loss of wealth or health. Loss of a job. 

What do we do to combat the sorrow?

I found suggestions on the Internet. Here they are.

1.  Take care of ourselves.

Right! That is easier said than done. A friend of mine lost thirty pounds when her daughter passed away. I’ve gained fifteen. I am a stress eater.

2.   Exercise.

Okay, so I am sort of doing that. I’m walking again and going to my fitness class. I haven’t lost weight yet.

3.   Sleep

Oh my, how I’d love to do that. Another friend who is experiencing grief over the loss of home and profession tells me she sleeps all the time. I take Melatonin, but I’m often awake.

4.   Talk about your feelings.

I sort of do this. However, some of my family say, “just get over it.”  That is not easy, is it?

5.   Find a support group.

I I think this is a good idea. I haven’t found one yet. 

I know many who are reading this blog are grieving. The only thing I can say to us is to be patient.

I trust in the Lord, and He helps me. If you don’t have a relationship with Him, I suggest you begin one. Start a conversation with Him. Buy a Bible and read it. Start with the Psalms.  Look up John 14 where Jesus tells us He prepares a place for us, and we will be with Him.

Let me know your thoughts. I’m in here with you.

She Lives in Heaven Now

 

How do you feel when your loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's transitions to the afterlife?

I had and do have mixed emotions. I know Shelley lives in paradise because she placed her faith in Jesus. So that's a good thing. Knowing the Lord God through Jesus gives her life in this perfect place called heaven.

She doesn't struggle to breath anymore. Heaven's air is wholesome and perfect. There are no oxygen masks up there.

No more struggles to talk! Oh my! she loved talking and hugging, so she's free to do that now.

But down here? I'm sad. I'm tired. I feel lost.

People see grief in my eyes and hear sadness in my voice, but I find it easier to tell you about Shelley than to write about her.

Here's a Youtube video post.

Gay on Youtube

Shelley Lewis McGregor

Shelley Lewis McGregor

1963 - 2024

 

Shelley Lewis McGregor passed away on October 26, 2024, at the age of sixty-one, in a memory care facility in Richmond, Texas. Born on March 6, 1963, Shelley was known for her vibrant and outgoing personality. Although tiny, she always gave a huge hug to everyone she met.

Throughout her life, Shelley was deeply committed to a work ethic. She won awards in her career in insurance sales, and she was respected by her colleagues and clients alike. After she married Don McGregor, she worked with him in the industrial coating business. She was a graduate of Alief Hastings High School in Alief, TX. She had two years of college before she began to shape her future.

She made a public profession of faith on May 5, 1971, at the First Baptist Church in Alief, TX, and was baptized by her pastor father. She and her husband, Don McGregor, later joined the First Baptist Church of Pflugerville, TX. Before going to Heaven, Shelley was a devout member of Second Baptist Church in Rosenberg, TX where she found great comfort and community.

 Her two much-loved Scriptures were: Philippians 4:6 and Colossians 2:6. Shelley quoted these two verses well into her illness with Dementia. She loved hymns, especially “In the Garden” “The Old Rugged Cross” and “Because He Lives.” She gave a big smile when we sang, “You Are My Sunshine.” Although memory faded with time, these hymns and Scriptures were the last to leave her.

Shelley treasured the outdoors, and her favorite hobbies were hiking and fishing. She found the sunshine enjoyable and liked laying outside to get a tan. Her dancing skills were admirable, so were her singing skills. Karaoke was a choice activity. She spent hours listening and singing along with the Beatles. Cooking and entertaining the family was a priority, and she was famous for her chicken and dumplings. As a sports enthusiast, she cheered for her team, The Dallas Cowboys.

Shelley married Rick Day in 1983, and although the marriage didn’t last, the friendship with Rick and wife, Gay, did. Later, in 1999, she met Don McGregor via the Internet. They married, blended their families, and Shelley moved from Katy, TX to Manor, TX.

Shelley was the loving mother to Richard Paul Day and wife Christine, and Courtney Richelle Reuther, son-in-law, James Reuther. Stepchildren Ryan McGregor and Molly McGregor. She was a cherished grandmother to Esperansa Day, Mackenzie Reuther, Jordan McGregor, and Addison McGregor. She is also survived by her mother, Gay Lewis; father, Rev. Paul Lewis; sisters, Christy Lewis Wilner and husband, Dirk and Lanissa Lewis Coker and husband Craig. Shelley was preceded in death by her beloved husband, Don McGregor, and mother-in-law, Mary McGregor.

Shelley McGregor’s legacy of warmth, kindness, and vibrant spirit will be remembered by all who knew her.

Memorials to the Alzheimer’s Association.

 

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers.

--Philippians 4:6

Just as you trusted Christ to save you, trust Him too for each day’s problems. Live in vital union with Him.

--Colossians 2:6

 

Pallbearers

Rick Day

Richard Paul Day

Dirk Wilner

Craig Coker

Nirav Shah

James Reuther

Alternate Jason Cappers

Daylon Durell

 Shelley