Shelley Lewis McGregor

Shelley Lewis McGregor

1963 - 2024

 

Shelley Lewis McGregor passed away on October 26, 2024, at the age of sixty-one, in a memory care facility in Richmond, Texas. Born on March 6, 1963, Shelley was known for her vibrant and outgoing personality. Although tiny, she always gave a huge hug to everyone she met.

Throughout her life, Shelley was deeply committed to a work ethic. She won awards in her career in insurance sales, and she was respected by her colleagues and clients alike. After she married Don McGregor, she worked with him in the industrial coating business. She was a graduate of Alief Hastings High School in Alief, TX. She had two years of college before she began to shape her future.

She made a public profession of faith on May 5, 1971, at the First Baptist Church in Alief, TX, and was baptized by her pastor father. She and her husband, Don McGregor, later joined the First Baptist Church of Pflugerville, TX. Before going to Heaven, Shelley was a devout member of Second Baptist Church in Rosenberg, TX where she found great comfort and community.

 Her two much-loved Scriptures were: Philippians 4:6 and Colossians 2:6. Shelley quoted these two verses well into her illness with Dementia. She loved hymns, especially “In the Garden” “The Old Rugged Cross” and “Because He Lives.” She gave a big smile when we sang, “You Are My Sunshine.” Although memory faded with time, these hymns and Scriptures were the last to leave her.

Shelley treasured the outdoors, and her favorite hobbies were hiking and fishing. She found the sunshine enjoyable and liked laying outside to get a tan. Her dancing skills were admirable, so were her singing skills. Karaoke was a choice activity. She spent hours listening and singing along with the Beatles. Cooking and entertaining the family was a priority, and she was famous for her chicken and dumplings. As a sports enthusiast, she cheered for her team, The Dallas Cowboys.

Shelley married Rick Day in 1983, and although the marriage didn’t last, the friendship with Rick and wife, Gay, did. Later, in 1999, she met Don McGregor via the Internet. They married, blended their families, and Shelley moved from Katy, TX to Manor, TX.

Shelley was the loving mother to Richard Paul Day and wife Christine, and Courtney Richelle Reuther, son-in-law, James Reuther. Stepchildren Ryan McGregor and Molly McGregor. She was a cherished grandmother to Esperansa Day, Mackenzie Reuther, Jordan McGregor, and Addison McGregor. She is also survived by her mother, Gay Lewis; father, Rev. Paul Lewis; sisters, Christy Lewis Wilner and husband, Dirk and Lanissa Lewis Coker and husband Craig. Shelley was preceded in death by her beloved husband, Don McGregor, and mother-in-law, Mary McGregor.

Shelley McGregor’s legacy of warmth, kindness, and vibrant spirit will be remembered by all who knew her.

Memorials to the Alzheimer’s Association.

 

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers.

--Philippians 4:6

Just as you trusted Christ to save you, trust Him too for each day’s problems. Live in vital union with Him.

--Colossians 2:6

 

Pallbearers

Rick Day

Richard Paul Day

Dirk Wilner

Craig Coker

Nirav Shah

James Reuther

Alternate Jason Cappers

Daylon Durell

 Shelley

Oxygen Required

 

Do we take air for granted?

 

Our daughter is on oxygen now.

I knew this day would come, but now that it is here, I feel shocked. Sad. Helpless.

Hospice now gives her morphine. She isn’t in pain, but this drug helps the patient with breathing. The nurse tells me morphine brings relief to the person who struggles with air.

Our little one grows smaller each day. Her rib cage is prominent. How long will this stage last?  Only God knows.

I know where she is going, but I don’t know when.

Soon, she will breathe heaven't perfect, fresh air.

I tell her it is okay to go on to heaven and see Jesus, angels, her husband, and her granny.

She frowns when I say this. She isn’t ready to leave us yet.

Her dad and I have almost everything planned, and we try to prepare ourselves. This is not an easy thing to do.

Here are a few suggestions for caregivers when you reach this stage.

1.    Tell the patient it is okay to leave. Some patients are waiting for you to say that.

2. T ell them you love them, and you will see them again.

3.    Talk with professionals about what to do next.

4.    Make preliminary arrangements.

5.    Gather pictures for a slide presentation at the celebration of life ceremony

6.    Write the obituary.

7.    Does the person have a favorite song? Scripture? Include it in your program.

8.    Cry as much as you need to.

Naked Bodies

 Ablutions

We enjoy showers when we take one without help. Having someone give us a bath or shower is a different story. 

Washing a naked adult body can be a challenge for family caregivers.

While her father could still somewhat understand, one daughter told me, “I had my dad sit on a chair in the tub, and I would wash his hair and body. When that was done, I’d then hand the washcloth to him. I’d say, “Now you wash your private parts.” When finished, she managed to get him out, dry him off, and dress him.

A husband I know bathes his wife. They are married, so touching intimate parts are not new. But how about a stinky diaper? Yes, the husband changes it, and it is especially dramatic when the diaper is a dirty, nasty one.

Another man lifts his daughter from place to place, but when her body is intimately revealed, he leaves his wife by herself to take care of the job of changing diapers and bathing.

How about a mother changing an adult daughter’s diaper? Or a daughter changing diapers and clothes for a mother or father?

When babies need a fresh diaper, we think nothing of it. But how about when an adult needs one? Well….

Difficult stuff.

Everyone deserves the gift of dignity and privacy, but people with Alzheimer's lose that gift. Privacy is no more.

This disease is a progressive one. In the early stages, the person may get angry because they need help. Later, they might become embarrassed, but eventually, they grow obtuse. In other words, they don’t know what is happening.

But the one providing the care recognizes the situation. They see a deteriorating naked body and smell the foul secretions.  This must be difficult for a nurse or an aid in a facility, but it is far worse for a family member.

A nurse told me once, we grow accustomed to seeing the body in all stages and functions. Vomit, blood, urine, feces…it’s all part of being human.

Yeah, well, halleluiah for medical people who devote themselves to helping the rest of us.

I was in the hospital last July, and I don’t have dementia. Praise God for that, and I hope I never do. However, I was reminded how a person can experience the indignity of someone else hovering over their naked body doing things to it. I felt awkward, embarrassed, and ashamed.

Our dementia/Alzheimer patients can still undergo the same emotions I had.

And it is a sad state of living.

Tips for Caregivers

1.    Assure the person you aren’t looking at their private parts.

2.    Talk about the weather, the baseball game, sing a song. Distract the person from what you are doing.

3.    Be gentle.

4.    Do the job as quickly as possible.

Treat the person with respect.