Good morning friends,
How does your day begin? Mine normally starts with a phone call from our daughter with Dementia. She normally calls between 5:00 and 6:00.
She is forgetting more and more how Siri works. This morning, I answered the call, and heard her saying, "Call Gay Lewis." She said this over and over, even though I yelled, "I'm here! Here I am. Hello." I shrieked loud enough for the neighbors to hear. She finally heard me, and then said, "Oh, there you are." She told me they'd given her a shower, meds, and she was dressed.
She then said, "One of the nurses doesn't like me."
"That's okay, not everyone is going to like you," I responded. I have this conversation daily. There's no point in arguing the matter. She could be right. She requires a lot of patience.
She must wait until 7:00 for breakfast, and she doesn't know what to do with herself until the residents are up and about. I suggested she look at photos in her albums. They're under her bed. Once-upon-a-time, she could find them and enjoyed the pictures. As soon as we hang up, the phone rang again. We went through the same scenario. Same conversation. A nurse doesn't like her. She forgot what she was going to look for pictures. I tell her again.
At breakfast, she'll join her group at the table. The groups and activities can keep her busy for awhile, and that's a good thing.
Her best friend was gone yesterday. She called and asked me if she could come to our house for the day. It broke my heart to tell her no. I'm working, and I couldn't entertain her. She barely understands this. It makes her sad to not be with me. She relies on me, even though she receives care from others.
When your child asks for something that you wish you could do, but you can't do, it's sad. Especially when that child's days are numbered.
Here she is at the beginning of the disease. We didn't know what was wrong with her when this picture was taken six years ago. She's the shortest one, the one in the blue dress. Her reasoning had begun to decline back then. We were at a stadium event and she couldn't count ten rows back and thirteen inside to find the person we'd come to see. At that time, we thought she merely needed glasses.
I wish that had been the answer.
Do you have a story to share? How did your day begin as a caregiver?
Yesterday, I was sad.
I wrote in my praise journal during the morning hours and listed my blessings as they came to me.
So much for positive thoughts and prayers.
Regardless of my good intentions, despair came.
But...............it could have been worse. No telling how bad the day would have been if I hadn't counted blessings at daybreak.
The day didn't go well.
I made four one hour round trips to take my daughter to the doctor. She has dementia. A total of four hours driving, plus stops to eat and see a doctor. A doctor who said the visit was a wasted trip.
Listening to my child ask the same questions over and over requires stamina. Conversations to someone who can't remember they just asked the question or made the comment requires patience. Feeding her bites while people stared is painful. Helping with bathroom activities is difficult. Care giving to one who is helpless requires stamina and patience.
I've never had a lot of those attributes. Stamina or patience. Many caregivers experience fatigue. I'm not alone in that department.
Dementia is a thief. It comes upon one slowly and never leaves.
The illness robs the patient of a sound mind and body.
The Devil of a Disease steals the loved one from families.
Why doesn't God lead science to the cure for these heartbreaking diseases like dementia, cancer or ALS? The list goes on.
I've asked Him. Many times. He hasn't responded with an answer.
But .....who am I that He should answer? Me? A mere, sinful mortal? One who has never done that much good in the world? He didn't answer Job, and Job was a righteous man. Why would I think He should respond to me? Such hubris on my part!
No answers. Just tears.
But there is always hope in tomorrow.
